I Broke My Dog

Buddy the Devil dog has been downgraded to ‘scamp’ after developing a limp.

A quick trip to the vets and he’s all better with Doctors orders to take it easy. Since he arrived at the end of November I take him for two walks a day (about 8 miles in total every day) and last week we added a lunchtime fetch session at a local field with a tennis ball.

That was too much and I broke him.

At 7 months old he’s the physical equivalent of a toddler about to start nursery in preparation for primary school. You don’t just chuck kids into Primary School aged five and hope for the best, it’d be chaos, burnout and wet pants every where.

It was too much too soon and from tomorrow we’re cutting the walking distance in half and shortening the fetch sessions to five to ten minutes.

Riveting stuff for those in the Gordon household but not so much outside of imeediate family. But stick with me this is going somewhere.

Buddy limped because his muscles are still developing and the daily mileage was too much. He’s a big, bouncy, bitey, hairy baby who is still growing up and needs to build up towards 10+ miles every day. He’ll get there in a few months and we can add running to his daily exercise.

This blog, me writing this blog is just like that. I love writing this almost as much as that black and white demon loves getting outside. He doesn’t care that it’s hurting him because he knows that a bit of rest, development and experience will make him better, stronger, and faster.

This thing, this blog is limping because I’m not me here yet. Each day, each blog has elements of other pieces from other writers that have stuck in my head and I lean into making this more like them. I’m trying to copy the cool kids but it feels like a bad impersonation that impresses no-one, especially myself. I don’t have my blogging voice yet.

And that’s a thing. Not just for blogging. For any kind of creative endeavour. Everyone has to find their style, their voice in everything they do. It becomes a signature so that even with out a piece of work being signed or attributed anyone familiar with that writer, artist, poet whatever will recognise the work. I don’t have that yet.

I’m still trying to figure out what’s me on the page. Up to now it’s been a mix of me, others I’ve read, or something that isn’t really me but I write it because I think it sounds cool or interesting.

Do I say fuck, try to be high-brow, or chase controversy? Not the last one because who needs the hassle of pissing in the wind over social media but the others? I don’t know.

The dog will get better and so will this blog or at least it’ll get better at being me (now I liked that bit, that was all me).